BanGunn!! rEViveeee!!!!

Memang sebagai seorang manusia, saya slalu gagal untuk mengasihi...saya rasa hati sya sakit tiap kali saya menolong, mengasihi dan mendoakan kawan2 sya ttp makin lg mereka kerap menyakitkan sya.. .aaa..ya Tuhan...bantu sya utk terus dapat menuruti kehendakMu utk terus mengasihi mereka y sering menyakiti, sbb sya juga sedar bhawa sya juga sering menyakitkan hatiMu dan hati org lain. kekuatan utk mengasihi itu hanya sy dapat daripada Kau ya Tuhan....sya bertahan mula dari awal tahun ini...sampai sekarang sya masih cuba bertahan.....selama sya bertahan ini, sya masih mampu utk tersenyum dan merasa beberapa kemenangan jika sya dapat mengasihi dan tidak mengendahkan skit hati sya...sya maw teruz bertahannn..tp..kdg sya rasa kesabaran dan kasih sya mcm sampai limit...dn bila ingat blek Kau Tuhan...sya taw sy xbole berhenti tuk terus mengasihi...dn bila sya bangun g blek skg...kaki sya berat utk melangkah..... tp selagi sya bernafas, sya akan ttap cuba utk bgun....

jUZ waNna Say what I thINK...Sad..T_T

bagi saya, law maw melakukan yang dianggap benar sampai menghalalkan "penipuan" ,,mmg xrasional langsung....seperti tidak mempunyai iman terhadap Tuhan yang mereka sembah....mengherankan......bila kita sendiri sudah mati dan pergi ke alam lain, barulah masing2 akn sedar apa yang benar dan tidak....jangan awal2 lagi judge yang org lain komfom masuk neraka.. aduiiii ..manusia xlayak owh cakap sesama manusia itu sendiri masuk neraka mahupun syurga....even kita berada dalam jalan yang benar pown blum tentu lagi di mata Tuhan kita neyh layak masuk Syurga.....sebab semuanya di Tangan Tuhan itu sendiri..kita hanya mampu berbuat amal, berusaha memperbaiki dosa-dosa diri dan mengamalkan ajaran agama masing-masing.....sedih melihat manusia2 yang teraniaya....tertipu dengan borang-borang, program yang ada rancangan penipuan disebaliknya.....drg xtaw pown apa2, innocent dan last2 drg kena wat mcm 2...mmg penipuan besar2an.....penipuan itu masihka dianggap "beramal"???? saya sendiri xfaham atas rasional apa smua 2 ble dianggap beramal, berbakti dan mendapat upah akhirat, tapi biarlah...org2 yang tertindas akn dibela Tuhan... akan ada saatnya, semuanya akan terbongkar, mata akan terbuka dan semua yang telah dilakukan tidak dapat berpatah balik lagi, sbb smuanya sudah terlambat..... . . .apa agama yang dianuti sejak seseorang itu dilahirkan, itulah agamanya...haknya utk menganuti agamanya, melainkan kehendaknya sendiri untuk bertukar, bukan secara paksaan, penipuan dan rancangan jahat yang dianggap halal.  jika kita benar-benar mengenal Tuhan kita, xperlu pown bertindak sampai ke tahap itu....kerna Tuhan yang kita sembah itu sendiri akan merencanakan yang terbaik bagi umatNya yang bekerja keras menyebarkan kebenaran....kalau sehingga mengambil nyawa pown dianggap beramal, maybe semua manusia pown ble jadi Tuhan...

Sometimes..

Sometimes, it’s just like words to say, sing and whatever…It was tasty to hear…but not reality.. the bitter taste become thickens and I couldn’t even eat it… I can’t accepts ur love if it is bitter… Its just like I am the one who keep running and tried so hard… . . .then in that journey, I fell…n that fell give great miserable to this relationship…but I stood up myself, carrying u with me…and again I keep running and tried to fix  what I can.. . . besides all of diz, u are just like shaking your legs and just go on with your life….i really wanna ask u ..did u ever appreciate this relation?? Did u ever pray for this ?? did u ever seek God when our relation is miserable?? Did u ever  think seriously bout diz??  I don’t know why… . .but I really..dun know what 2 say…I need 2 calm myself first…its raining in my heart… God..im sorry, but I still really need u most of the time….     

today was day two of our traditional dance program...n of course today was the last day....my class perform daling-daling dance..and it was so wonderful that i have never perform any performance about dancing......and yet today..4/5/2014 was my historic day that i had performed a traditional dance....i mean daling-daling...it was quite simple and happy....^^...its really tired..but i enjoyed all of it....^^ . . . 

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in my life nowadays, it was like a storm but ,,,every day I try to face day after day with a smile and just like the mask I also try to hide the problem, the feelings and emotions from my family, friends and the people around. at the same time, in that mask, I'm trying to solve my  messed life .....  in every problems, bustle and things in my life that miserable..i had made decision that im not gonna give up, because besides me, there are many people out there that are facing the same trouble and even their trouble are bigger than mine....and it is also obvious that God Himself said that 

"Pencobaan-pencobaan yang kamu alami ialah pencobaan-pencobaan biasa, yang tidak melebihi kekuatan manusia.  Sebab Allah setia dan karena itu Ia tidak akan membiarkan kamu dicobai melampaui kekuatanmu.  Pada waktu kamu dicobai Ia akan memberikan kepadamu jalan keluar, sehingga kamu dapat menanggungnya." 

1 Korintus 10:13

yet, i don't have the reason to not keep walking without fighting in my life....

My fiRsT EXpERIENce

diz is my first experience of dancing for my whole life.....i felt happy and satisfied in myself because of the opportunity given....if there is no program like this, maybe forever i didnt know my skills level in dancing..hehe..today i have learned traditional dance of daling-daling....hehea... for a person like me, i felt it was very difficult to dance at the beginning....then, when my friends and i do the trainning, then at last we all can do it properly......so happy and enjoyyyy hehe...thanks Lord ..up until now i still willing to smile, laugh and felt the happiness from every person and also things in these world....... hontoni ariegatou gozaimasssu!!!!!